i don't try to explain my emotions to others anymore. it's not that i'm all cynical and keep to myself, it's just that a lot of people find me strange. they can't quite grasp my meaning behind the word love. i love a lot of people, in a lot of different ways. some for who they are, some for what they stand for, and others just because someone needs to love them. now that's not to say when the feelings aren't returned it doesn't hurt, it does. but i would rather them be happy loving someone else than unhappy alone. i think it comes with experience, or maybe it's just some sort of compassion.
"I'm starting to get a little freaked out, but I'm not gonna break. It's not because I don't care, because I do care what you think about me, I do. Care. I just can't tell you want you want to hear. Which seems to be a theme in my life right now. Just because you can't say something doesn't mean you don't want to, you can want to very much. You can be with a person and be happy with them and not love them. And you can love somebody and not want to be with them. You don't need to love someone to want them. Now that's frustrating, when what your brain tells you you want and what you actually want don't match up. It's exhausting. And, well, it's complicated. But that's life."
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