Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

i'm not sure what they taught you when you were home-schooled, but someone has done you a grave misjustice. perhaps they told you that if you mean the apology deep down, it counts for something. or maybe they said that people know when you feel bad for your past mistakes, and they take that into account when you say sorry.
or maybe you just fell and hit your head. hard.

regardless, you don't get to come back after four years and apologize. that's not how things like this work.
i mean, don't get me wrong, when you poured your heart and soul out on the other line, i felt sorry for you, for the pain you must have felt... but when i said it was okay, it wasn't because the apology fixed the problem. it was that somewhere down the line, during those four years that you disappeared, i didn't care for you very much. i lost interest, gained some sort of respect for myself and moved very, very far past you.
i realized that maybe you weren't ready to feel all of those feelings and i couldn't blame you for that. death is a scary thing. but i also realized that maybe i was ready to feel so much more than i could ever expect you to understand.. compassion never was a strong-suit for you.

and here i was, a girl well past my years, needing someone to follow me into the darkness.
but there you were, a young boy scared of the world even when the sun shone.

people like that don't work. 

they crash.

and then burn.