dear someone,
i think you've misunderstood who i am; how this works. i am not here just when it is convenient. i am not here when you want me to be or when you decide you need someone to talk to. i am not here for that time you got drunk and realized you were all alone. i am not here because you need me when you feel like needing me. i am here because this is where i decided to be for myself, not to make your life a little easier.
my life goes on without you the same way it did before i knew you existed. i am not like the other girls that swoon and melt over your good words and compliments. i am not interested in anything you can offer me. this is meant to be something fun, not something complicated.
if you would like to be with other girls, please, be my guest. go off and find someone more willing to be with you without any meaning behind it. because god knows i'm no good at it. i can't treat you like you're something beautiful if i don't find you to be something beautiful.
however, i am not a backup girl for when plans fall through. i am not a girl that will stroke your ego, because frankly, you shouldn't have one at all. when you are out with another girl, i am not home missing you and wishing you'd call. i'm out dancing with my friends and being charmed by men over drinks. when my phone buzzes, your name is not the one i expect and/or want to see on it's ID. i don't need you in order to clarify my meaning in life.
what i mean to say is, i am not waiting for you to take that second glance and say "my god, it's her." and if that time comes, somewhere down the road, i won't be surprised to hear you say it. nor will i cry and say "i've been waiting all this time." not because you don't seem to be a sweet boy, but because you never caught my eye. i could be your friend if that's what you want and we could have fun from time to time. but that's just it, you need to treat me as a person above all else.
- the cartographer above all else.
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