But You didn't Have to Cut Me Off Make Out like it Never Happened and that We were Nothing.

"Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over

But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
And I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say

You said that you could let it go"

our fighting was useless wasn't it? i look back and i really don't know why we fought. ever. we never got anywhere with it, and neither of us ever had a point in all of it. i remember when we reached that point where i literally would just start screaming because i felt like i'd lose myself if i didn't. unhealthy. you know, i never reached that point with anyone but you. and although i used to swear that it wasn't your fault, i'm realizing it was because of you. why did i hold on to someone who abused me that badly? why do i still even speak to you? because sometimes you can be mildly friendly? nonsensical. i don't know who i was. i just know that i held onto you so that i had a tangible piece of my past, just in case it all slipped through my fingers. i had this unjust theory that all of it would disappear in a haze one morning. i wanted to save you on a shelf for the rest of my life, even if i didn't love you. or want to love you. or plan to love you. and that was where i came into the blame. that's the one thing i'm truly sorry for, not really ever loving you but knowing how to act as if i did. it was cold and fruitless. i'm sorry.

"So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over"