it was a poor reaction. i'm not saying i regret it, because i don't. but that side of me just gets so hot headed and deep down i knew it would all explode eventually. there was a reason she was being so distant, it was unlike her. i was just waiting to hear what she had to say about it.
he texted me. "where are you?"
"sona? i don't know, some bar. we moved again."
"are you safe? are you with people?"
"yeah, yeah, i'm fine. everyone's here... somewhere. i don't know, it's a small bar, the girls wanted to go talk to boys. i'm dancing."
--- the bar closed within minutes after the last text. i sat outside on a step waiting to see the people i came with, cooling off underneath the stars and city lights. a breeze shot through the street; i closed my eyes feeling the wind wrap around my body. i opened my eyes and there he was..
"oh hi pretty lady."
i felt the grin stretch across my face. "oh hi."
he reached out, helping me up into his arms. "how are you? how did you find me?"
he laughed, "facebook," he said nonchalantly shrugging it off.
we talked and then went our separate ways, he with his friends and i with mine. that's when she said it..
"i slept with him..."
her voice was weak and i knew she regretted it. i felt it all around me, but what was i to say?
"i didn't know you liked him! that there was anything going on!"
"you knew.. how could you not know? when he was all i talked about.."
"--and i couldn't tell you over the phone... that just wasn't fair.."
"so you do it drunk? DRUNK!?"
"what do you want me to say? it wasn't worth it, if that's what you want to hear.."
"it's not, of course that's not what i want to hear! i want to hear that you did it because you cared for him too. because you just ruined everything." i felt the tears well up in my chest, that heavy feeling, something like drowning. i took in a deep breath to steady myself.
"i'm so s---"
"just stop. please, just stop. nothing else."
the rest of the night was silent.
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