It's a Problem that Our Choices Choose the Wrong Ones. That's Probably the Reason We're Afraid We'll Die Alone.

i saw him for the first time since last summer and it was exciting. he was he and i was i and together we still fit like we used to. it was simple, familiar. something so comfortable. the kind of friendship most yearn for. i think it may always be that way; a fact that i selfishly take for granted.
we get lost in each other.. so wrapped up in trying to remember, trying to continue on as if we had never fallen out of step in the first place, that we lose the rest of the world. to everyone else at that party, we must have seemed in love. we must have seemed as if we belonged in each other's arms. and i suppose, on the one hand, they wouldn't be wrong because there was certainly love there. just not the kind they were seeing. we had our own way of loving each other, a secret way almost. one that no one could quite understand besides us.
not for one second did i forget about our onlookers, i just didn't realize how they would see us. never would i have thought that my boy would see this friendship as a threat, but as the night went on i saw it on his face. the way he studied our reactions, our chemistry. i cringed, shifting away from my friend remembering that i wanted this boy as my future.

but it was too late, the damage was done..

we laid there giggling, remembering, while the world moved past us at warp speed. and although i missed the past, i wanted very much to be a part of my future instead of stuck in those memories.