Sometimes I'm Bold and Brash, Sometimes I'm Prone to Crash.

i sit back and think: God, how did i make those eyes sparkle once? or how was it possible that you would groan about having my face on the other end of the computer screen rather than next to you? how was it possible that you made my day with a stupid text, or a call, or that laugh that still rings in my ears? how can the image of your smile still makes me blush?
i fell in love beautifully, that doesn't just go away.
despite the other dates, the other boys, the silly stories that show up on our feed.. they aren't you.
i will never regret sharing the thing i love the most with you, i will never regret that night under the stars. even if one day i grow to regret you..

He's the Song in the Car I keep Singing, don't know why I do.

I woke up with a strange dream settling into my head this morning..


We were driving home from somewhere, I honestly couldn't tell you. We kept switching seats between the driver's and passenger's seat randomly without warning, but I drove the whole way. We were on a straight clear highway for most of the ride. When I was in the passenger seat, my driving was challenged, bumping into him and losing focus on the road. Finally I was back in the driver's seat taking us to where ever it was that we were headed as he slept in the passenger seat next to me.


I read up on some of the information and found it accurate yet bothersome.. I realize what needs to be done, I just don't want to.


"To dream that someone else is driving you represents your dependence on the driver. You are not in control of your life and following the goals of others instead of your own.  If you are driving from the passenger side of a car, then it suggests that you are trying to gain control of the path that your life is taking. You are beginning to make your own decisions. "
"To see a highway in your dream, represents your sense of direction and your life's path. If the road is smooth and bordered by trees or flowers, then it denotes a steady progress and steady climb up the social ladder. If the road is straight and narrow, then it means that your path to success is going as planned."
"To see someone sleeping in your dream, is a reflection of yourself and your own unconscious mind. It is telling you that you may not be alert or informed about a particular situation."

Write a Letter to my Love, Well I was Almost Honest..

boys forget things, boys forget things all the time. and that's acceptable, because girls forget things too. remembering a silly date isn't really a problem, it's that it feels like the last straw after a long line of problems. the real problem is that he didn't say goodbye. it was almost as if he didn't want to say goodbye... truthfully, it irks me.. and as open as we seem to be about everything, i can't bring myself to say it. because this is one of those things that doesn't just annoy me, it hurts me. it rips open a seam that i've had to stitch up time and time again. and every time he does something that reminds me of past experiences, i build up another 6 feet of barriers. i don't want to be guarded anymore. and with him, i didn't think i needed to be..
but i'm even starting to doubt myself on that..

"My reflection
In the window when I ride
Could not save us
But I swear to God I tried


Take a picture
Write a letter to my love

I was almost honest
But I was almost honest
Cause I was almost honest"

First Thought when I Wake up is, "My God, He's Beautiful" so I put on my Make-Up and Pray for a Miracle.

i have fallen in love beautifully 

(and it's really all it's cracked up to be.)

Nevermind, I'll Find Someone like You.

There was so much beauty in your eyes, your hair, that wonderful smile.
There was so much promise in every word and gesture.
I had high hopes but they've long since disappeared.

I want you to understand that your magic was not lost on me,
I've just broken whatever spell you had me trapped under.

I don't Trust Myself with Loving You.

We've walked into tomorrow and some days it makes me wonder how we'll ever get through today.

How can I ever be enough if you won't let me..

I think I might have Inhaled You.

stop trying to be so sure of everything.
in the end, it makes you sure of nothing.


you love me-- and today that's enough.

We Found Love in a Hopeless Place.

they say not to do the things you love with your significant other because if it ends badly, you'll hate the things you once loved. i whole heartedly disagree. i think that if you really cared about that person, no matter how it ends, the things you love will still be the things you love because at one point in time you loved the person you were sharing them with. now that's not to say that it won't be difficult for a little while, of course it will. but let's be fair, what isn't difficult after it ends? not a lot, that's for sure. i guess what i'm saying is, i look back on those favorite movies and those favorite places and remember the good things about the past, not the way it ended or what it is now.

what i'm saying is, i walk outside and look up at the stars and those 300+ miles don't seem nearly as far.
what i'm saying is i love you.
and i wouldn't trade that moment for anything else in the world.

Morning Hair Without a Care; Would You Ever be so Lucky?

sometimes, when the wind picks up i like to close my eyes and lift my arms as it skims around my body, dancing about the tangles of my hair.
sometimes, i like to inhale deeply and taste the fall on my tongue as it whispers something loving in my ear.
sometimes, i like to think that the wind is you, coming back to tell me that you miss me, or you're proud, or 'that this too will pass'.
<3

She said "I'm not Quite Myself Tonight, but the Way You Touch Me, oh, makes Me Tongue Tied... That Could be the Wine too."

it's not unusual for a boy to have some sort effect on me. but to make me so wild and on edge that i can't stand to be away from him? unheard of. he's cast this magnificent spell on me, one that has me yearning for his voice, his touch, his eyes, his smile...
he has five smiles..
one when he's talking about that stupid football team that i can't stand.
one when he's teasing me.
one when he's telling stories.
one when he's embarrassed.
and one when he's staring at me..
(if you've seen Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, you'll understand the reference.)
but i digress. the truth is, i'm just captivated by his very being. he's unlike anything else i've ever encountered..
he's my sunshine, and i won't let him go.

I'm Unusually Hard to Hold onto.

your voice is something beautiful, like a song that's whispered through the thoughts in my mind. yes, i miss you terribly, but this distance isn't killing me. it's saving you. it's strange because you see me for so much more than i am. i look into your eyes and just see you staring at this wretchedly perfect stranger. she looks lovely and caring and overwhelmingly honest but i don't think that's me. i've never been one to stick around for very long and maybe this inability to have you show up in front of me so often makes you something i want. you are something i want. something i want to love and cherish and never hurt (and that's the point where i usually run clear in the opposite direction)